Rest… Retreat

Of course my first Transcendental Meditation Retreat couldn’t just be normal. But that’s to be expected. I mean, I’m 46 years old and I don’t know the last time anything was actually “normal.” I got signed up two weeks ago and didn’t hear a word. I waited, then emailed the headquarters in Fairfield, IA, and they said I would receive and email. Well, I didn’t receive an email. I received a phone call. Then another. Then another. Five phone calls. Poor thing. He told me to bring a blanket to wrap up in when I meditate. I checked the weather. It’s supposed to be 80 degrees. But the bottom line is. It works!! Transcendental meditation is real. There are some bizarre people involved, but have you ever been to work? Yea, weird people. They’re everywhere. But This TM thing, it’s changing my life. Halle-fucking-lujah!! I’ll let you know what happens at this retreat. It’s a holiday weekend and apparently they had a lower than expected attendance. So there are very low attendance rates. Three teachers, three attendees. As my friend Jennifer said, very personal attention. “Hey buddy, you alright in there? You’ve been in the bathroom an awful long time!”